I think I’ve finally figured out why God created the weather. He created the weather so TV stations would have something to talk about. If there wasn’t any weather, TV stations wouldn’t be airing those endless updates that supposedly contain new and exciting weather information but hardly ever do.
Let’s face it. If it’s raining or snowing at 5 in the morning it will probably still be raining or snowing at 5:15 a. m., 5:30 a.m., 5:45 a.m. and 6 a.m.
Without the weather, TV stations would have to fill their first reports of the day with updates of news stories but that probably wouldn’t work because news reports hardly ever change very much at that gosh-awful time of the day, either.
I’m not criticizing local TV stations but the non-stop repetitiveness of those weather reports tends to get a little stale after awhile.
I think I know why the TV stations keep repeating themselves. They do it because some viewers aren’t out of bed yet when the first weather reports are broadcast but they ARE awake and itching to watch TV by the time the second forecasts of highs, lows and wind-chill factors are broadcast 15 minutes later.
I could see a need for all of those weather reports if the weather here in my neck of the woods was prone to dramatic changes. For example, if it is 92 degrees at 6 a.m. and by 6:15 the temperature plummets to 11 below zero then please tell me about it.
But, as you all know, the local weather really doesn’t have many elaborate tricks like that up its proverbial sleeve.
Quite frankly, most of the weather we have around here usually isn’t anything to go bonkers over.
Summers are warm.
Winters are cold.
April showers still bring May flowers. (P.S. Mayflowers bring pilgrims. Sorry about that.)
I know this sounds silly but I seriously believe I have something to do with what kind of weather we have. If I want it to rain, all I have to do is schedule a picnic or golf game. A cold front always sweeps the entire nation the day I decide to head south to warm my muscular body on some tropical beach.
Want a ton of snow next winter?
OK, give me a little time to lose one of my boots.
Bob Batz can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org