Last updated: March 19. 2014 12:02AM - 462 Views
By Bill Duffield

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I think the American language has become kind of … well, you know … stale.

I think it’s that way because we tend to have specific meanings for our words and we don’t want to change those meanings.

But I have this neat idea, see. I’d like to take some of the words and use them in different way just to spiff up our vocabulary and our writing.

Take the word “manure” for example. We all know what it means but what if we came up for a new way to use the old, old word.

What if I write a sentence that says “My mother went out to dinner the other night a longtime friend. My mother went out to dinner with her friend because MANURE?

See how it works?

Many old words could get new meanings if we tweaked our language just a tad or two.

It’ll work with lots of other words, too.

After eating the apple all I had left was APPEAL.

I was having dinner with friends the other night and I said “I already have the pepper but could you please pass me ASSAULT.

You can go to the circus if you want to but I want to go to AFFAIR.

When things are going badly for me I suddenly got ASSIGN from above that said everything will be A-OK.

The shortstop had three base hits in his last baseball game but all the catcher could do was hit AFOUL.

My friend Phil says his wife’s first name is Anna so he tells people he has an ANIMATE.

My son is finally old enough to operate a boat because he has reached ANCHORAGE.

I know a woman who went out with an English professor the other night and she described her evening as ACCOMMODATE.

My friend Fred said he met ACUTE woman the other day.

My buddy Aqua had a rock thrown at him but the thrower missed his target because AQUADUCT.

You may not have a horse to ride but I have AMOUNT.

My wife and I were packing our car for a road trip the other night and I said ALPACA the car you make sure the lights are turned out in the house.

I couldn’t tell what the bride looked like when she walked down the aisle because she was wearing AVAIL.

You go at 10 a.m. and I’ll go AFTERNOON.

Contact Bob at bbatz@woh.rr.com.

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