I think I have figured out what’s wrong with the current generation of Americans.
I firmly believe we are much too predictable.
For that reason I think I will put a little proverbial “spice” in my life by becoming more unpredictable.
I’ll begin by getting even with all those telemarketers who pester me with their phone calls morning, noon and night.
You name it and I’ve had a call from a telemarketer who wants to sell me that something I don’t really need for a price I can’t afford.
Most call me at the worst time of day for me and they all seem polite and interested in selling me something I don’t really need.
Some are out to sell life insurance.
Others are more interested in selling me a new car or getting me to spend my next vacation in a place I’ve never heard of.
When the new Bob starts acting like a new Bob things will be a whole lot different than they are right now.
When the telemarketer finishes his lengthy speech- which resembles Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address except it isn’t nearly as good as the Gettysburg Address, it is my turn to attack.
But, given my negative feelings about telemarketers I will respond by saying “Hi, this is Bob. Doggone it I’m not able to take your call right now but if you leave your name and telephone number and mail me $750 in one-dollar bills I promise I will return your call as soon as possible.”
Then I will pause ever so- briefly before I add “And hey, you have a nice day OK?”
Bob Batz is a retired journalist and area resident and guest columnist. Contact Bob at firstname.lastname@example.org.